It's amazing what a haircut can do for your spirits and self-image. There's something about getting the right stylist, one who does an incredible consult, listens to what you want done, and brings your thoughts and desires, spoken and unspoken, to reality....all while taking the time to chat and speak words of wisdom and life into you as they do so.
It's been stirring in my gut for 3-4 weeks to cut my hair. My intuition had been telling me since my birthday back in December it was time for a change and to embrace something new....so I tried accomplishing that with more hair color, more bright, bold hues...but it still wasn't enough and I knew it. I knew I needed something more and finally decided to make the chop.
I knew it was time because I could see that it wasn't as healthy as it used to be. It was starting break off and just feel lifeless...heavy even. It wasn't until this week when I realized why: I was still carrying around the baggage from the past two years...my rocky relationship and break up, my depression during and after pregnancy, my spiritual ups and downs, my struggle with motherhood, my struggle to untangle myself from and overcome my abusive past....I've been carrying all of that around with me since the last big chop I did in July 2009 and my gut told me this week it's time to let it allllll go.
Cutting off the dead weight of the past two years is just another step in the process of getting free this year (see Dance Party Friday: Get Free Edition) and I'm do glad I went for it.
I woke up feeling bogged down by heaviness and am going to sleep feeling like a new me, a fresh and renewed A'Driane. Lighter, healthier, stronger, ready to face what's coming next.
I feel like ME. I'm finally feeling cozy in my own skin and in who I am. And that's the best feeling in the world y'all.