Vlog: My Bipolar Life 1-3

"My recovery from manic depression has been an evolution, not a sudden miracle."

-Patty Duke

My psychiatrist has been telling me since I was diagnosed last July that  for me, a person with Bipolar Disorder, recovery means stability, having less episodes, and being in control of my illness. She says while there was no cure for this illness,  it's possible to find stability and live a healthy life...it's just going to take some hard work and patience on my part.

I believed her back then and I still want to believe her now. One of the hardest parts of this journey has been trying to find the right cocktail of medicines. I thought  once I found that in March things would get easier. I think that's why I've been so disappointed lately-my latest round of medication has helped significantly...but I'm still struggling and recognizing new symptoms that I need to learn how to manage.  The setbacks have been hard to live with...there are days I'm overwhelmed and just want to give up.

I thought instead of writing about some of the things I've been struggling with lately, I'd talk about them in a video. It was WAY harder than I thought, and pretty emotional-totally wasn't expecting that.

So forgive the tears...I apologize up front if my thoughts seem disjointed. My mind has been a wreck lately, all over the place. I talk about this in the video as well as my struggle to connect with others, and some fears I have.

I had to break it up into three parts...forgive the poor editing. (I recorded it on my phone)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq-tFJZPiTo]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QH9ip5R9TA]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-xL8wtv5_8]