Hunger

#GlobalGoals: My Story of Hunger in the U.S.

In January 2007, I was 24 years old, newly separated from the Air Force after serving for four years, and eight months pregnant. I had found out I was pregnant six months before my enlistment was up, right after I'd attended a job fair for Capital Police in D.C. Due to my law enforcement background in service, I had been spending my time lining up job interviews with local police departments and security firms, and had just sent in my application to the University of Maryland. Honorable discharge in hand, I was going to transition seamlessly into civilian life as I had seen many others from my squadron do, working and put myself through school. But once I found out I was having a baby and would be raising my son on my own, those plans evaporated and I was flung face first into civilian life with hardly anything set for myself.

Navigating civilian life as a pregnant woman proved to be far more difficult than I had anticipated. I was too close to having my son, and had very little experience in anything outside of police work to be hirable. I filed for unemployment and was initially rejected. I filed for disability compensation and healthcare through the Department of Veterans Affairs, but there was little they could do for me in terms of prenatal care until a decision was made on my claim, so I had to apply for social welfare benefits. I applied for Medicaid, WIC and TANF but was only eventually approved for the first two. Without any income,  I was unable to rent a place of my own and was sleeping on a friend's couch while I tried to establish some semblance of stability before I delivered my son into the world.

Needless to say it was a very unsettling and dark season in our lives. Relations with my family were strained, I had no job & was awaiting an appeal on my unemployment decision, I was without support from my son's father, had very little means to support myself, and sleeping on a friend's couch. Every day things felt shaky and uncertain, with the possibility of things going even further south greeting me when I opened my eyes in the morning. As stressful and panic inducing as my circumstances were, it was bearable, or at least I forced myself to bear it because I had no other choice if I wanted us to live. I clearly remember determinining each day to keep fighting my way through every challenge and set back that arose. For the most part, I was able to maintain my resolve, but my toughest struggle for survival during that season was the lack of food available in my daily life. 

I was pregnant but barely eating more than a meal a day because, well,  I had no money. What I did eat came from friends offering to grab me something or $20 they'd give me for groceries here or there. It took nearly 6 weeks for my WIC to be approved and once it was, I was able to buy things like bread, peanut butter, milk, eggs, some fruit w/farmer's market vouchers and cereal. Between that, scrounging up change for double cheeseburgers on the dollar menu at McDonald's, and pushing large amounts of water, that's how I survived. 

When I was in the final weeks of my last trimester, I won my appeal and my unemployment was approved, and my first check arrived the week I ended up giving birth. My checks were just under $500 every two weeks. When my son was a month old, I moved into a house where I rented a room for the two of us. My unemployment checks went to paying rent and 1/3 of utilities, gas, my cell phone bill, diapers, wipes & other toiletries for us, interview clothes and babysitter fees while I searched for a job, and once I stopped breastfeeding, formula & baby food. I hardly had enough left over every check to purchase enough groceries for myself to last until my next hit. I always ensured my son had what he needed to eat, even if it meant I had to eat very little or nothing at all. I wasn't starving, but I was surviving off of one meal a day max, usually oatmeal. I remember as a "splurge" (and because I'd be so hungry for something else filling) I'd go to Chipotle after cashing my check and spend $14 on two of their chicken burritos, fully loaded. I'd take them home and split them into four pieces-each one would be a meal during that week. 

Emotionally, I remember experiencing despair, shame, and embarrassment. Asking for money from friends and family when I was at my hungriest and in between unemployment checks always filled me with dread as I worked up my nerve to ask, and guilt consumed me once I had rehearsed the shakiness out of my voice to finally do so.  I always felt as though I had to justify why I couldn't feed myself; and prove that in spite of my inability to provide for myself, I was still doing my best to provide everything I could for my son, to prove that I was capable of being his mother. It was a painful experience that permanently changed me. I can't look back at my life then without tearing up. 

From my own personal experience, there is nothing as torturous as hunger. Daily nourishment is such a basic, fundamental need, that not being able to satisfy it for an extended period of time can quickly pull you into a limbic fog that becomes inescapable. Physically, the gnawing sensations that crawl through your stomach in search of satiation eventually become stabbing pains that intensify with each breath you take in. The longer you go without adequate intake, the weaker your body can become as it turns on itself to burn the energy it needs to keep you alive. Your organs have to work harder to operate without the minimal calories and nutrients necessary to function so you can thrive. Your movement slows as it becomes harder to expend energy. I had fatigue and muscle and head aches daily. In addition to the sleep deprivation, stress and hormone fluctuations I was experiencing postpartum during those first 8 months, my mental & emotional state were impacted as well. There were days I felt so weak physically and emotionally I'd just lay in my bed with my son while he either slept or played quietly next to me. 

It took me three to four years of relying on social welfare & veterans benefits, food pantries, and eventual employment to create a more stable life for us-one that didn't include facing hunger daily. Today, I'm privileged in that I can eat all day every day if I wanted to, but my experience with hunger is never far from my mind. It's one that drives me to find ways to combat it in my community and support national and global organizations committed to addressing it financially or with social media capital. 

That's why I wanted to share my story to raise awareness about the Global Goals and encourage you to support them however you can. 

In a nutshell, the Global Goals were developed by the United Nations to help rid the world of extreme poverty, provide an equal education for girls and boys, and protect our environment for generations to come. To do this, they will focus on the Sustainable Development Goals -- 17 global goals for sustainable development.  Millennium Development Goals, which were adopted by the UN in 2000. Over the last 15 years, world leaders in various countries worked  and as a result, 43 million more kids went to school, HIV infections were reduced by 40%, 2 billion more people received access to clean drinking water, and extreme poverty has been cut in half. These goals will set the world’s agenda for the next 15 years, and they will be officially adopted by 193 world leaders when they assemble for the UN Sustainable Development Summit, held September 25-27 in NYC.

Eradicating hunger is Goal #2. 

Even as dire as my situation was at times, I still consider myself privileged in that it wasn't as dire than that of many others both here in the U.S. and around the world. Far too many people are facing hunger and starvation for a variety of reasons, all of which I believe we can urge world leaders to address. I'm also convinced that if we each committed to being intentional regarding this issue, we'd also be part of the overall solution it desperately needs. I believe it's worth taking the effort to be mindful of because NO ONE deserves to go hungry.

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So what can we do? Support local food banks with donations. Make the money we spend eating out count during campaigns like Share Our Strength's #DineOut for No Kid Hungry.  Support programs that feed the most vulnerable in our communities: elderly, children, disabled, and the homeless. Challenge and demand our elected leaders on this issue-do they support cuts to TANF, to school budgets that cut into what is being spent on breakfasts & lunches for children? Are they working to address food deserts in their city? Support The World Food Programme, which fights hunger worldwide. Get involved online and be a part of the conversation when you see it taking place around this issue and the other 16 listed in the Global Goals. 

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Each of us has a part to play and I'm optimistic enough to believe WE can affect change in our communities and on a global scale if we just commit to it in whatever ways are within our power to do so. I hope you'll join me in learning more about what you can do to advance the conversation and initiatives around the Global Goals both online and off. 

To learn more and join in the conversation: 

  • Follow the #GlobalGoals & #SustainableDevelopment hashtags online. 

  • Follow the UN and Global Goals accounts on Twitter: United Nations + Global Goals

What would your Global Selfie say? 

 

 

 

How WIC Saved Us

I'm going to keep this short and to the point. 

No ranting. No giving you my opinion of the GOP or politicians in general. I'm not going to be political about this because there really isn't a point, and there are millions of others out there saturating the Internets with their opinions, anaylysis, anger, bias, and what have you. 

I'm not going to give you politics. Instead I'll give you something personal and leave you with a plea for tangible, effective action. 

When I separated from the USAF in Nov 2006, I was 7 months pregnant with Brennan, who you know is my oldest, my boy genius. Having been a military cop in service, all of the jobs I had applied to in early 2006 in preparation of my discharge were security or law enforcement related: Capitol Police, Metropolitan Police Department, and positions at various security firms in the Maryland, DC, and Virginia. My plan was to go to college and work full-time, doing bartending and security until I graduated w/a degree in Communications & Journalism.

I had to terminate my applications and job search in June 2006 when I found out I was expecting. I started trying to scramble to come up with a back up plan when Brennan's father refused to "be a part of something he didn't agree with" because I refused to get the abortion he wanted. He shut me out completely, as did many members of my squadron, so while I had a few friends remain by my side I was basically alone to fend for myself. Going back home to my mom & stepdad's in NJ wasn't an option either. So I scrambled, tried some things that didn't work out, some smart, some completely stupid (ie an engagement to a complete idiot I shouldn't have trusted) and upon discharge I was practically homeless, staying with friends but not having anything permanent in place for when I had Brennan.

Finding a job at 7 months pregnant was impossible in the civilian sector. I was too far along. No one was going to hire me only to see me go on maternity leave 2 months later-I was told as much during interview after interview, phone call after phone call. 

After serving 4 1/2 years, I was entitled to unemployment for at least 9 months, but once it was discovered that I was pregnant I was denied because it meant I couldn't really look for work, which was a requirement. I had to appeal and it took exactly 71 days before the decision was reversed and I was afforded $592/month. My first check came 2 days after I had Brennan- February 24, 2007. I didn't even have a bank account anymore and had to cash it at a check cashing place.

During those 71 days, those last months of pregnancy, I had no money. NONE. My friends did what they could to help. I also had no prenatal care. My disability and compensation claim with the VA had just been filed and wouldn't be processed until March of 2008, so I had no way of even getting healthcare services through that system, and at the time, they didn't cover prenatal care anyway from what I had been told. I applied to medicaid and for other social services, but the application and approval process took nearly 60 days, despite my being in what they considered an "emergency" situation. The only application that processed fairly quickly was my WIC application.  

I had no health care. No money. No job. Barely had a place to stay-a friend's couch. But I had WIC. My WIC experience had some negatives to it, which I'll discuss at another time, but I can tell you right now, were it not for WIC I wouldn't have had anything to eat during those months right before Brennan arrived. 

Thanks to the WIC program I could use vouchers to buy bread, milk, eggs, peanut butter, cereal, juice, beans, and fruit from the one farmer's market in Prince George's county, Maryland that I could take the bus too. (I had a car, but didn't drive much, because gas=money I didn't have) 

That was the ONLY food I ate. If I found a dollar in change, which happened I think 2 or 3 times, I splurged and bought a double cheeseburger from McDonald's off the dollar menu. Twice, a friend took me to grab a bite to eat, but that was it. My WIC vouchers were how I ate the one (small) meal I had every one of those 71 days I waited for an appeal on my unemployment case. Yes, I had ONE meal a day. At 8 and 9 months pregnant. That was it. The fact that Brennan was and is healthy is pretty much a miracle if you ask me. 

WIC is considered "non essential" during a government shutdown, meaning applications aren't processed, case managers don't work, families can't stop by WIC offices to pick up their monthly vouchers for formula, milk, and food. Any breastfeeding support a woman is receiving via her WIC office stops. Families who rely on WIC to help them purchase specialized and expensive formula to feed their infants with health problems? Same thing. Do you know how many school aged children rely on WIC for breakfast? With SNAP benefits being decimated last week, imagine being a parent already struggling to put food on the table and now facing the reality that two very crucial resources you depend on have been gambled away, gutted, halted.

 Whatever your political leanings are I urge and beg you to flood your food banks and organizations that partner with WIC offices with donations of food, baby formula, and baby food. Diapers even. Grocery store gift cards. A monetary donation, which help food banks even more sometimes than donations of physical goods. Whatever you can. Hunger is a real problem in this country and we need to take it more seriously than we do.

Politicians can play their games, claim victories for their childish and stubborn agendas, and we can't do shit about it but gnash our teeth, word vomit our frustrations, theories, and opinions on social networks, and vote...two years from now. That's it. This shutdown is out of our hands, our control, and beyond anything that WE the people can tangibly do to fix....BUT we can do what Congress isn't right now and serve ourselves, serve each other. WE can be for the people and by the people. We CAN do something, have some control in this situation-and that's by ensuring our neighbor, our coworker's kid, our elderly, our servicemembers, our disabled, OUR people, are fed. 

We can do that....can't we? 

WIC saved me and mine during a very horrifying and unsettling time in my life. Help me do for others what it did for me. Donate to an organization or food bank. Please.