fifty shades of grey

50 Shades of Fabulous

I know I haven't posted anything in awhile. An intense semester and a little writing/blogging crisis are to blame and I apologize for the lack of posts....BUT today I return to 'Confessions with a gift for you, a special guest post from a woman I have an immense amount of love & respect for. Lauren Hale is the founder & moderator of #PPDChat on Twitter & Facebook, shares her PPD story over at My Postpartum Voice, AND writes for The Good Men Project. When I asked her to describe herself in one word, she responded with "Fierce." I couldn't agree more.  I LOVE this post, and I think you will as well. Please welcome her and show her some love!


Today has been a grey day. Sure it's spring, leaves have sprung, birds are chirping, the cicadas are...well, we won't talk about the cicadas because that leads to dark places best left unvisited.

Last week was a whirlwind of writing. Three political pieces, wait, four, one not so serious, and a snarky piece about Facebook and organ donation. On top of that, there was #PPDChat to host both on Twitter and On The Air, support requests to field, friendships to maintain, therapist visit, date, meals, and somewhere in there, sleep.

This past weekend I slept. A lot. Almost a full day, actually. I figured my body needed it --kinda like hitting a reset button-- showing instead of telling me to slow down.

It's okay to slow down and listen to the ebb and flow of life. If we keep tilting ahead at full speed, eventually you'll collapse, much like I did this past weekend. Everyone preaches about balance and figuring out what's right for you. While that's true, often times life tosses a left turn where there should be a right and BAM. You're upended and left spinning toward a vortex again just trying to keep everything grounded.

Ever seen a whirling dervish? Yeah. That.

Life will come at you fast and hard. If there's one thing I have learned over the past few years, life is not what happens to you. It's how YOU happen to life.

Realizing most of your issues spring from worry, concern, or otherwise unnecessary emotions in regard to the actual situation is a huge weight off your shoulders. There are a few questions which should soothe the anxiety beast when/if it arises:

1) Does this situation directly affect me? 2) Is there anything I can do to directly affect or improve this situation? 3) Is immediate action required or are my hands tied until a later time? 4) How much does this situation really affect my life?

Taking a deep breath and going through those four questions has helped me deal with several situations which could have possibly gone south very quickly. Instead, I analyzed them and often realized that no, there wasn't anything I could do nor did the situation directly affect me. In situations where it does and immediate action is required, take a deep breath, do your best, and put it behind you. Easier said than done, I know, but with practice, each new challenge becomes easier because you've been cultivating confidence in your ability to deal with the hard, making you even more fabulous with each experience.

You, and your fabulous may not mesh with someone else's version of fabulous. But isn't that what makes the world interesting and awesome? That we are all a different shade of fabulous and then some? If we were all the same shade of fabulous, we would be stuck in a grey world.

Me, I'm working on my 50 shades of fabulous every day. I can't wait to rock them all.